Barely 22 and I already feel like I am having a quarter life crisis. I feel lost, scared, confused and uncertain. Is it even normal to feel this way for someone my age?
Every day I tell myself, “I wish I can fast forward time and see what life is like in 5 years time.” I want to see who do I end up being married to, what type of job / career path am I heading towards, what type of house will I live in and how will I grow as a person.
I want to know that I am making the right type of investment. Say, if the person I am going to be married to isn’t my current boyfriend, I wouldn’t want to waste any more time with him and get on with spending more time with whoever my future husband is. I’m sure everyone can relate to it, except well if you’re just in it for the fun and don’t consider long-term. If my current boyfriend isn’t ‘the one’ for me, will I have enough time to find another man, date him long enough before settling down?
I want to know what kind of career path am I heading towards, only because I want to make the right choices and take the right opportunities in life. I want to path my way to success and I like having a rough idea of how to get there, almost like Waze but for my life.
You can say that I am not much of the “living in the moment” kind of girl. I am almost always stressed out about the future, pressuring myself way too much sometimes. On the outside, I remain calm and easygoing while I get worked up internally. I wish I could be less of a control freak and be more laid back.
I dream of having a perfect life, one which is balanced with a stable career, active social life and a grounded family. Being a perfectionist, I become stressed out when it comes to things which I can’t control, ie: marriage. I want to be a young mom – hoping to be engaged by 26, married by 27 and have my first kid by 28. I want to have a successful career, one that excites me and pays me well enough to live a comfortable life with a small touch of luxury.
The idea of budgeting scares me. Growing up also means keeping track of your financial spending and for the first time in my life, I actually downloaded an app to track my spending. Believe me or not, I was very surprised by how much money I actually spend in a month. Not because I’m a big spender, but miscellaneous things like parking fee, buying a drink and light grocery adds up to quite a sum at the end of the month
Am I thinking too much, I wonder..
I question myself on a regular basis to whether this is a feasible arrangement. Having both a family and climbing up the ladder of success at the same time can surely be taxing, but it will be worth it. Having more money to spend on rainy days will be a financially responsible way of thinking, but how much of spending am I suppose to cut back per month to achieve that level of financial security.
At the age of 22, I still don’t know what I want. in life. Should I continue staying in a startup company or break into the corporate world? Should I consider going to grad school or work my way up the ladder and gain experience?
I feel afraid to take big leap, for the fear of the unknown is real. At the same time I feel stuck and worried my progression in life is not enough to get me to where I want.
What was Taylor Swift feeling when she was 22?